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If You Won’t Feel Sad, You Can’t Be Happy

What's the meaning of life?

A better question to ask might be; what's the meaning of your life?

Because your answer will be right for you.

As for me, I believe the meaning of my life is to grow towards becoming Love.

I don't feel that the meaning of my life is to seek happiness - that sounds a little selfish to me, and I know selfishness is not the path to happiness.

And also because I have spent some of my life unhappy.

If the meaning of life is happiness and I have been unhappy for 10 years of my life, does that mean those 10 years were wasted?

What if those years were an investment?

An investment in growth.

And the result of that growth is a deeper capacity for feeling - for happiness and for sadness.

The degree to which you are comfortable with sadness determines the degree to which you can feel happiness.

Because feelings work on depth.

And what creates depth?


You gotta dig out depth in your dark times.

If I've had 10 years of dark times, I've also got 10 years of depth, and that means if a client needs to go to some deep and uncomfortable places, I have the capacity to go there with them because I've been there myself.

The Rhythms Of Life

Life has rhythms of happiness and sadness, getting what you want and not getting what you want, holding on and letting go.

If you can master holding on and letting go you will be free.

You can try to resist the process but even if you could, it would be like freezing a river into ice - it won't flow.

I find that people are generally resistant to either holding on or letting go.

Some people won't hold on because they don't want to let go.

Others won't let go because they want the security of holding on.

Circles Not Straight Lines

Like both sides of a coin, each makes the other.

Within every hello, a goodbye is implied.

Holding on represents beginnings, as letting go represents endings.

The Circle Of Life

The circle of life is that everything that is born will one day die.

The bird eats the ant to survive, one day the bird dies and the ant eats the bird to survive.

Where there's life there is also death - they come as a package deal.

In between life and death, holding on and letting go, is "letting be."

The Heartbeat Of Life

Holding on, letting be and letting go are all contained in one day.

You wake up and you hold on to the day.

You need to be able to hold on to your day - to not be afraid to ask for what you want and live your life knowing that your day will end.

And you need to be able to let your day go, because you can't get everything your own way and if you won't let go, you won't sleep.

Just as you need two legs to walk, you need to be able to hold on and let go.

Holding on with without letting go, or letting go without holding on, is like hopping through life on one leg.

You can't have one without the other, there's no balance.

If you can have the sense of letting go while you're holding on, you can hold on and be free.

If you can have the sense of holding on while you're letting go, you can let go and be free.

Each implies the other.

Just about every love song from Wilson Philips "Hold On" to the Beatles "Let It Be" is about one of these seasons.

And the Serenity Prayer covers all the bases:

grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

God Helps Those Who Help Themselves

You need to find the balance between holding on - taking personal responsibility - and letting go.

Sort of like surfing the wave – you've got to get your surfboard and swim out to the breakers but most of the work is done by the wave.

Whatever has a beginning has an ending.

Everything ends and everything begins.

Everything is ending and everything is beginning right now.

For in this world nothing is ever really held and nothing is ever really lost.

We live between life and death, love and loss and there we must make our home, because we are born from the earth and to the earth we will one day return.

In the end we ask ourselves, "what was the meaning of my life?"

And from somewhere deep within the answer comes; "it was about becoming Love."

Wishing you the loveliest of days,

Harley M Storey
"The Life Coach Toolman!"

5 Responses

  1. This has made beautiful reading for me. Thank you. Love Joyce
    • hstorey
      Thanks Joyce!
  2. You're right on Harley. It is so nice to know that even tho we are in different parts of the world we are on the same page, becoming live. Namaste, my friend. .
    • hstorey
      Namaste Ruth :-)
  3. To sum up the meaning of life in four pages is not only eloquent but breathtaking. Holding on and letting go allows you to life a live filled with love and happiness. I had a dream of how I was going to die. The last words I spoke were "it's time now". This was my final act of letting go. I left my loved ones, in the room, without any guilt feelings of seeing me pass on. It taught them the joy of letting go and living a life of no regrets. I have had a saying " whatever you start is finished". This article but the essence of life full circle in simple terms everyone could understand. Thank you!

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